Today is "Last Business Day"

I woke up with a start this morning that I bang my head against the bed frame. How? Well.. since the first week of Ramadhan, I've been sleeping on the floor so that I would wake up earlier to avoid the cosy comfort of my bed from lulling me into deeper sleep after the first 15minute alarm bell rings. Actually, the mattress isn't that comfortable anymore 'coz after 2-1/2 years of serving a couple of previous residence to the cabin, the spring simply give way. Sometime I have back ache due to the lumps and unevenness of the mattress.

I remembered I positioned myself well away from the bed, but somehow I managed to crawl under the bed after restless night thinking about my VISA.

Yes! Up to now at 11.06am, my Visa for visit extension has not been approved yet by the so many officials involve in giving away Visa. There is the Immigration Dept, the Labor Office, the Alien dept and so many other God knows "authority" that a Visa and my crispy new red passport book has to pass through during its stay in this country.

I handed my passport over to my colleagues to get the approval on the day I arrived, but after 40 days here and still no "chop", I put down my flag and raised my hand as it is beyond my control. Thus I surrender myself to God's will. By any luck or if its already been written in The Book, InsyaAllah I would be able to fly home tomorrow. Else, I have to be prepared to play the waiting game and hope that the remaining flight before Eid is not fully booked.

In this time of nail biting suspense of missing that flight home, I recalled the time I was performing my Hajj. Every time we were "tested" on the roads or getting around the mosque or during performing the rituals, I would remind myself to be patience and not lose my temper to the expense of acquiring Hajj Mabrur. Honestly, I did lost it twice, shamefully I have to admit in front of the spiritual landmark of a Muslim itself the Kaabah..

Its not easy being me. Before the hajj i.e. all my entire life I have been known to many people of being a hot headed with violent reaction (except poor wifey who never witness one of my raging bouts that duped her to marrying me..hehehe...poor soul). During the Hajj, I have trouble controlling them and did lost them as previous mention. After the Hajj, as I begin the "new phase" of my life (Yeah right, who am i kidding?) I hope my thin Patience would prevail while enduring life trials.

In this month of miracle, I pray to grant me patience and I pray for guidance and I pray that this time my Prayers will be answered. Amin..

Hooray! 28 days til RnR

Yesterday I managed to convinced the Boss to sign my RnR on 5 Oct. Wife expected to give birth maaa. Even if they don't sign, I would still go back 'coz I already bought a one way ticket from my own pocket. The only stumbling block is I need an exit Visa, which probably I have to belanja my friend a Shawarma for that.

Well, hopefully everything went well and pray that the baby come out just in time not a day earlier, InsyaAllah ;-)

28 days and counting...

Dag..dig..dug

Hmm, hari ni hari Khamis. Hari ini mungkin tidak ber-erti untuk tuan-tuan atau puan-puan, adik, abang dan kakak sekelian. Tetpi hari ini, hari yang amat bermakna bagi diri hina empunya laman blog (blog melayunya aper ya?).

Hari ni hari 'lima' tanggal 9 hari bulan, bersamaan 25 Rejab 1428. Hari yang cukup bermakna bagi diriku. Hari yang amat dinanti-nantikan. Hari yang penuh debaran. Apa yang menyebabkan aku amat merasa berdebar-debar untuk melalui hari ini. Oh yea, aku masih berdalih dan belum menceritakan keutamaan hari ini bagi diriku. Hari ini banyak keutamaan nya. Hari ini, bermakna tinggalah kurang lebih 5 hari lagi dalam bulan Rejab yang mulia. Kalau masih belum berusaha tu, teruskan lah. Jangan jadi macam aku, kantoi lagi makan maggi asam pedas.

Yang sebenarnya, hari ini bukan itu sahaja keutamaanya, tetapi keutamaan yang lebih utama dan amat bermakna bagi diriku ialah jatuh pada hari inilah, kawanku Ripin the Stingray Slayer dapat tangkap sotong. Kena lah tukar namanya ke Ripin the Sotong Slayer. Tapi, apa kena mengena hari ini dengan sotong tangkapan kawanku itu? Emm..sememangnya tidak ada apa-apa hubung kaitnya. Kerana sotong itu bukanlah dirancang untuk menjadi mangsa kawanku pada dhuha hari tadi. Bukanlah jugak kerana sebab tertangkapnya sotong tadi, maka kawanku Bro Z akan memasak nasik lemak sambal sotong "kereta". Tidak..sekali-kali tidak. Aku mungkin terkilan tak dapat merasai lagi nasik lemak yang sedap itu buat kali ini. Pun begitu, tak putih mata pun.

Sebab yang sebenar-benarnya adalah, pada hari ini aku akan memulakan langkahku dengan menaiki kapal terbang ke Ibu Kota negara Pasir Berdengung. Horeyy!!! Alhamdulillah, mahunya aku sujud syukur, tetapi aku malas. InsyaAllah aku akan sujud bila aku kembali ker tanah air kelak. Destinasi terakhir ku.

Pada hari ini langkah ku akan bermula. Dengan satu langkah, maka dengannya mendekat kan lagi aku ke teratak tercintaku. Lapan ribu batu amat lah jauh. Lapan ribu batu yang bermula dengan satu langkah. Lapan ribu batu yang akan mengambil masa hampir 2 hari untuk mengakhirinya.

Semalam aku hanya mampu berenang sejauh 750m berhenti-henti. Penat! Tapi lapan ribu batu ini tak mungkin menyebabkan aku lelah dek kerana keseronokkan dihati ku yang kusam selama lapan puluh hari bermandi pasir dan debu. Perjalanan aku mungkin tidak diakhiri dengan berkibarnya bendera Malaysia seperti usaha berani seorang mamat yang bernama Qobin. Tetapi berkibarlah bendera Istana bahagia ku tetap lebih bermakna.

Kalau dah dapat balik tu tentu la seronok, suke-suke aje? Yea! Tidak dinafikan. Tetapi dadaku tetap berdebar-debar. Takut-takut ada yang tertinggal. Takut-takut tertinggal kapal terbang. Dan macam-macamlah kerunsingan yang bermain di benak aku.

Setelah semua baju di lipat. Hutang dilangsaikan. Kerje diselesaikan. Kerje? Kerje ape? Kerje tetap berjalan walaupun tanpa kelibat sang Muhandis di bumi gersang ini. Kerje tetap kerje. Kerje tetap berjalan. Jalanlah..aku tak peduli lagi..

Yang penting barang semua tersimpan kemas didalam bagasi. Hutan ditebas. Tiket di simpan di tempat yang mudah. Wang di simpan di kocek. Pasport disimpan salinannya baik-baik.. Maka bermulalah perjalanan aku pulang.

Seperti yang Soleh merindui Tuhannya. Aku pun merindui Tuhanku. Tetapi aku masih takut kerana tak cukup. Begitulah hakikatnya perjalanan hidup insan yang lemah..

Aku merindui dia. Harap-harap dia juga merinduiku. Aku juga merindui yang dua lagi. Tapi apakah mereka akan mengingatiku? Itu lah hakikat nya. Kalau dua kekasih yang belum rasi mesranya saling berjauhan. Mungkin kasih akan berganti. Apakah begitu juga Kasih yang berdua kepada ku? Itulah debaranya. Debaran sang Muhandis yang mengejar nama dan duniawi, sehingga keciciran yang penting dan ikhlas darinya. Kasih yang ikhlas itu aku buang begitu saja? Atau aku simpan..tetapi di mana? Dapatkah ku buktikan sesuatu? Dapatkah ku lakukan sebaiknya? Dapatkah ku bertakhta dihati-hati mereka kembali? Itu lah debaranya.

Dag..dig..dug..

Bias for action

The coming RnR will be another short and hectic one for me from 11th-26th August. Actually my approved RnR is only 13 days i.e. 11th-23rd but it’s so annoying to describe to you about it that I decide to add a pinch of salt and tell u my own version of RnR, which would make me happy and so hopefully everyone in my family happy too.

In the short “13 or so approved” RnR days, I will have to be in KK for 2 and ¾ days attending a Forum which would end on the 14th. (The stupid project policy is that one only allowed to go on training during his/her RnR. Bullshit isn’t it? )

After the forum, I will have to squeeze some time to meet up with some lawyers to draft up an SnP to sell off my Bangi house. That would take a day or possibly two, if everything goes well.

An then, in between, I must pay a visit to my own Bapak family or more known to my kids as “Tok Kajang”, who unmistakably the name reveals where they live. I am sure my kids missed goofing around the house full of fragile crystals as well as meeting their aunties and funny uncles so it is a must visit for me.

By the 20th I would have to help get all the preparation ready for the trip to Kelantan, for my brother’s wedding. He’s Akad Nikah will be on the 22nd, and as my wife reminded me, there will be plenty of last minute run up work to be done before the event. So we would have to turn up in Kelantan at least a day earlier.

After the wedding, we will have to travel right across the peninsular to my hometown Aloq Setaq for our side of the reception planned on the 25th. The preparation here would also be a big issue as many distinguished VVIPs will be attending the wedding on my Bapak’s invitation. I am sure, all the works are pretty much sussed out but, hey, even though I am away, for most of the time, I would still like to “sinting lengan baju gotong-royong” like any good son of the family.

Amongst all the flurries of activities anticipated for the holidays, how does I fit in and become a good father and a husband? Well, the answer is I have to "kurangkan" ZZzz which I usually indulged myself on RnR. Hopefully I got over the jet lag while I am in KK.

Why should I bring up the issue of being a good father or a husband? Well, my son Nuaim has been refusing to talk to me on the phone every time I called home. It’s kind of depressing that my son is more interested in animal planet shows rather than talk to his Bapak. For that, I wonder to myself, what does he think of me or rather, how am I remembered by this 3yo person? Leave out the other 1 yo 6 tooth boy who barely know me. I would imagine, Nuaim’s own poll ratings of me would probably suggest that I be kicked out of “fatherhood office”, just like what Calvin told his Dad.

So, in hope of reviving my Bapakhood standings, I would have to volunteer bathing them everyday, probably try to feed them and take them to the park more often. Basically I need an action packed plan to maximally ensure they spend most of their waking hours by my side.

Not forgetting, I also need to spend more time with my wife, considering her condition now almost towards the end of her second trimester and into the third trimester, and where is the husband? The baby is into her (InsyaAllah..!) advance growth stage, and had never hears the Bapak’s voice. What a pity!

"Oh Purnama yang mengambang sugul di sebalik kepulan ribut pasir", wish me luck!! I will evaluate my own self if I were successful implementing my plan or just a doomed to fail “on-duty” dad.